It is so truly said that we come into this world alone and have to go alone too. But the fact of life is that we don’t and just cannot live in this world alone. We are born and the first relation that we form as soon as we arrive is with our mother. Thank god we are welcomed into this cruel world by the most purest of all relations. Purest as it is free of all prejudices and negativity. Slowly and steadily we are exposed to different relations like father, brother, sibling, spouses, in laws etc.
The irony of life is that as we progress in life we are introduced to new chapters of life with new characters. Each character has a different role to play in the story of our lives. Some play the lead roles and some have a guest appearance but each character is important as it tends to teach us a lesson about life in some way or the other. Now it’s up to us that how receptive we are to these characters and how keen we are on learning.
We have all heard that learning is a continuous process we never stop learning. Many characters in our lives teach us the positive aspects of life like love, respect, faith, humility and many teach us the negative aspects like jealously, hatred, disbelief, cruelty. The only complexity of human nature is that we learn the positive aspects as well as the negative aspects , knowing very well that they are negative and they will hurt the others the same way they hurted us in different phases of life,
We still adopt them or we can say use them as weapon against people close to us. Many of us do it unconsciously and many do it as a revenge of what they had been subjected to once. The question is it is correct to make another fellow being subject to the same torture we had faced ?
It is a very complex topic but yet a very authentic one. All of us have faced this in some form or the other. A father tries his best to use the same disciplinarian ways to discipline his son the same way he was disciplined, irrespective how much he criticized it as a young boy and without realizing that his son belongs to a totally different generation and needs a different approach rather than the age old method.
The 21st generation mother in laws still can’t make a balance between their own daughters and the new daughter in law who has just become a part of the family. Although she has suffered herself as a daughter in law but when it comes to taking the reins finally in her hands she does the same mistakes she was subjected to 20 years ago.
A boss treats his subordinate the same way he was mistreated when he was an intern. It is very good a saying to read,that we should learn from the mistakes of others but does it actually happen?
Or when we get to position of control we forget all the past or we try to victimize the person directly under us and derive some pleasure out of it. I guess the root cause of all the behavioral disorder is that we expect too much in the relation without realizing that how much are we putting in from our side. The greater the level of expectation the greater the mess. Do we ever sit back and think that be it any relation, parents, spouses, children, work relation, what is our contribution. Are we giving in 100./. From our side or is it just why didn’t he/ she do that, how could they say that, why did he/ she reacted that way ?
The answers are lying within us but we fail to give it a thought. Giving space in any relation is equally an important factor too. Being at the dictating end can make the relation suffocating. Both the sides should have an equal say and the right to express themselves. Be it parent- child, husband- wife, brother- sister, boss-worker, teacher – student etc. We have to make a balance in these relations rather than one controlling the other. Life is beautiful only when these factors are nicely dealt with. We all have to leave this world one day for our final destination but don’t we all want to remembered and missed for being an awesome human being.
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